Alternative Counseling Can Overcome Marriage Problems Before They Become A Crisis
Reality TV has been a mixed blessing when it comes to people’s perception of marriage. On one hand, some of the shows feature picture perfect couples living in storybook bliss; it all seems so polished and so unattainable. We look at our own lives in comparison to these heavily edited fantasy marriages and wonder if we should be seeking Marriage Counseling immediately, so we can at least pick up the pieces of our own crumbling relationship before it completely implodes. One day without fresh flowers arranged strategically through the house, and the happy couple eating breakfast while holding hands and suddenly we’re doomed.
On the other extreme, we have the seriously dysfunctional relationships. You know the ones I’m talking about. These couples have been selected by producers because the relationship is known to be explosive and the individuals involved either need money (probably to pay for a divorce lawyer), or are down on their luck and desperate to be seen onscreen. These are “C-List” celebrities who happily drink, carouse, cheat and generally self-indulge their way through a riveting hour of television that’s been carefully packaged to hi-light the screaming matches, fisticuffs, arrests and subsequent visits to see a parade of Marriage Counselors.
The first scenario appeals to a certain viewership and the second tends to score the highest ratings -everyone likes to feel superior to celebrities after all. However, it’s important to remember that neither of these situations portrays reality. There is no such thing as a completely perfect marriage and while there are many, many dysfunctional relationships, it’s would be difficult to keep up the intensity of failure as portrayed on reality TV.
Marriage Problems
Relationships are very complicated things and marriages, with all their associated legal and societal ramifications, are even more so. Think of all the variables at play in a typical marriage: personality, age, religious background, education, finances, location, children, family, work, friends, health -the list could go on for pages. As with any complex system, it usually doesn’t take long for little bumps in the road to take the shine of perfection off of a marriage. Unfortunately, those little things are frequently ignored or rationalized away and, over time, they can grow into much bigger issues. Before you know it, you could be in serious need of Marital Help.
Think about the example where a husband or wife has an extramarital affair with a coworker. This is the sort of traumatic event that can fatally damage any relationship and it’s all too common in our society. But chances are, the straying partner didn’t simply wake up one day, leave his or her home and happy marriage behind and intentionally set out to have an affair. The seeds were likely planted with a smaller problem; maybe a spouse who no longer openly showed affection, or who refused to provide needed emotional support, leaving a void in the relationship. The coworker was there and filled a need. Marriage Help might have put the couple back on track by addressing these symptoms before they escalated into something much more damaging. Even better, by building a framework of positive behaviors, problems can not only be removed, but replaced by habits that continue to strengthen a relationship.
While every relationship is different and the issues it faces will vary depending on circumstances and the unique personality traits of each spouse, there are a number of common problems that frequently arise. How many people do you know who complain of having to deal with a stubborn spouse, silent treatments, addictive behavior, a lack of appreciation, poor communication or boredom? These are just a few of the problems that a Marriage Family Counselor will see on a regular basis. One of the advantages of an alternative approach to counseling is that this method focuses on neutralizing these problems and replacing them with supportive relationship behaviors instead of following the traditional route of rehashing traumatic experiences while trying to force open communication.
Who is your favorite celebrity couple and are they heading toward Marriage Therapy or still in the newlywed stage? The countdown is always on, and the tabloids are tracking every romantic gesture and taking photos of every spat. There’s no way for these people to Stop Divorce from becoming front page headlines, but that’s the price they pay for being in the public spotlight. Check out the current list of who’s in Marriage Counseling this week and which Hollywood stars are on their way to divorce court in our biweekly feature “Saving Your Marriage Celebrity Style.”