Traditional Marriage Therapy Is Often Ineffective
Considering the stresses placed on relationships today, it probably should come as no surprise that Marriage Problems are rampant in our society. Some say we live in the age of divorce, and with America leading the world in divorce rates (ranging anywhere from 40% of all first marriages collapsing to over 70% of third marriages likely to end in a breakup), it seems as though many couples have simply given up and begun treating marriage as a disposable institution. At least that’s one theory about what’s going wrong.
An interesting correlation could be drawn between increasing divorce rates and the firmly entrenched relationship counseling industry. It sounds counter intuitive, but could it be that all of these counselors and the methods they continue to use as standard therapy are not only failing to stop divorce, but possibly contributing to the incredibly high failure rate of marriages? That’s not to say that psychologists, psychotherapists and others are deliberately sabotaging troubled marriages, but perhaps the treatment these groups developed decades ago have become outdated. Think of the usual practices you hear about: improving communication skills, problem solving and the weekend marriage retreat. All of these involve confronting issues within a relationship and talking through them until resolved. Very painful topics are dug up and discussed repeatedly. Success requires the full participation of both spouses, yet in many cases a clear line is drawn identifying one spouse as “bad” and the other as “wronged” and this confrontational style frequently leads to resentment, hurt feelings, outright anger and the likelihood that one or both spouses will simply throw up their hands and opt out of the marriage. It’s gotten so bad that Marriage Counseling has become the frequent butt of jokes in sitcoms and movies. Why should the idea of saving your relationship become equated with the experience of having a root canal?
Relationships fail for a number of reasons. Extramarital infidelity is one of the first things that most people think of, but this is often just a symptom and indicative of deeper issues. Factors such as additive behaviors, boredom, emotional infidelity, poor communication between partners, a lack of appreciation for each other and emotional abuse are often at the root of a troubled marriage. Ultimately, it could be said that many couples face the situation where they initially married for love, but that feeling of being in love with their spouse began to fade over time and that’s when issues like lack of appreciation begin to creep into the picture, multiply and eventually undermine everything.
If Saving Your Marriage is a priority, there are alternative methods to traditional therapy that have been proven to be extremely effective. By asking couples to forgive and be forgiven while building healthy relationship habits, marriages can be saved without the drawn out, painful and frequently destructive processes used in the past.
By using alternative therapy, you can shift the momentum of your marriage, taking it from struggling back to thriving.
Further information on various alternatives to traditional Marriage Counseling may be found online. Tips and advice relevant to Saving Your Marriage are also freely available and could help you to choose whether or not to pursue alternative counseling options. While no single web site can lay claim to fully covering every single issue that you may face as a couple, there are certain Marriage Problems that tend to be common to many relationships. By learning about these common challenges to a happy marriage, you may be able to Stop Divorce from being the endpoint in your own journey.